That Long Winter of Yore {And my SOLD OUT art collection of Winter 2020, and how they are related}

What I learned, during The Long Winter of 20-whatever-whatever, that inspired my latest SELL OUT collection, titled “Friends and Flowers, A Celebration”…

….I learned that, as a leader and a Christian, I need clear boundaries and an equally clear, Biblical value for the role of leadership. When boundaries are crossed, and/or when I am mistreated, it is more than okay, it is absolutely vital to say to myself, “I was the _________________. (insert: mother, leader, pastor, business owner) in this situation. I am the one sticking and staying. I deserved to be treated much better than I was.”

This kind of objective self-tenderness is not self pity. Rather, it is a necessary moment of clarity.

Self-compassion is something that I am not so good at. Most leaders aren’t. When offenses take place, I often move on quickly (good), but I equally often move on without acknowledging the objective truth (not good). I need complete clarity on the fact that I deserved (in the proper sense, not the entitled sense) to have been treated much better than I was. Or perhaps I need complete clarity on the fact that my husband deserved to have been treated much better than he was.

Why? Because suffering is part of leadership. The Bible calls it “filling up the sufferings of Christ.” The sufferings of Christ mean being ill-treated. The sufferings of Christ mean having your “good be evil spoken of”. It is when others return evil for good.

“My Pioneering Friend”

Note: it is not when others “return evil for perfection”, because you’ll never lead with perfection. We didn’t and we don’t lead perfectly. But our leadership was and is faithful and good.

When your good is treated as though it were bad, that is part of filling up the sufferings of Christ.

But it isn’t filling up the sufferings of Christ if we, as the people He has called to do a certain specific job, do not stop to acknowledge said suffering.

We cannot offer up as costly worship, what we do not acknowledge.

You and I as leaders have to stop and consciously acknowledge, before the watching eyes of God and the watching eyes of our own heart, that we were rendered evil for good. “This is what that looks like”.

Then, count it as filling up His sufferings.

You and I get to take our badly bruised heart, and count it the equivalent of an alabaster box of expensive perfume, broken and poured out on the feet of the One who called us in the first place.

To do this honestly and well, is the wisest thing a leader can do. It kills many birds with one stone: it turns heaviness to gladness, it removes every trace of bitterness, it creates space for the Holy Spirit to minister to us, it cements our position before God in secret places. 

It secures our reward, it makes us fit to be a leader of other leaders; and then, if all that were not enough, it all becomes another reason to praise Him.

Take time to get clear on these things.

Because all suffering leads to promotion.

It’s been two years since that Long Winter. I’m completely on the other side, with a new circle and a healed heart, a very clear head and a wiser perspective.

And we are already living into our promotion. So I know these things for sure.

Now it is your turn. If you get clear on this, your pain will qualify you to be a leader of other leaders. Those leaders, precious and called men and women, will one day need to hear you tell them, without batting an eye, “You were treated quite badly. You deserved better than that.”

Their tears will begin to fall…the tears may even become sobs. Hold the space for them. Because their healing is on the way.

They will need you to show them how to alchemize the suffering, and turn it into their next promotion.