On "Becoming"
Almost 10 years ago, I wrote a lot about “becoming”…here is one example.
The image above is the art I made way back then, to reflect my thoughts on “becoming”. (I will never forget when this piece sold! Not only was it my first art in all soft pastel, not only did it sell, framed, for several hundred dollars - unheard of at the time, for me - but it sold to someone I had never met. A prophetic milestone! This piece lives somewhere in Connecticut. But that’s not the point.)
Blog post after blog post, a river of beautiful thoughts, poured out of me in that season. Thoughts about my own becoming, the “becoming” of my friends, the becoming of relationships in the middle, the “becoming” that is middle marriage - I wrote (and wrote…and wrote) about every bit of it.
Looking back, I can see that it was my own “becoming of age”. ::wink::
I had hit my stride, my theme, my sweet spot, and I am so glad I put it all out there, though I figured nobody was reading.
Those posts led to a relationship and eventual collaboration with my friend Jeanne Oliver, in her first free devotional offering called “Becoming - The Unfolding of You”. Just this week, I received an email from someone else who had “met” me through that very class. She had shyly waited all these years to reach out for the very first time, and tell me of the impact on her life that my words were. They had literally shaped HER “becoming”, over the last near-decade.
Well. So, here I am. Here we are.
Time has flown by, it is ten years later, and I am discovering that I have yet more to say about Becoming. More truths. Truths that have been fragranced, soaked, and seasoned by the last ten years of living into a life’s theme. Thoughts I’ve never written before, new and urgent.
In the intervening years between my first barely-read blog post, many other women have chimed in on the theme.
So. much. is. being. said.
Not all of it is Biblical. Which is to say, “not all of it lines up with who God actually is, not all of it lines up with the way we are actually made.” Which is to say that to use a wrong map is to arrive at the wrong destination. To use a partly-accurate map is to encounter a LOT of unnecessary hassle. (The middle isn’t the time to make up your own map. We don’t get to dictate our design, because we do not design ourselves. The middle is the time to return to original design - the time to become who we really are. )
Which is to say we must discover who Jesus is, who He has been since before time began, and who He continues to be for the rest of eternity- living as the God-man. By an act of God’s will He is forever and flawlessly tethered to a human body, as our representative in the very Presence of a thriving Trinity relationship.
He gives us Himself, as our design. Himself, as our gift. His relationship with the Triune God can be ours as well. We have been placed (“hidden”, the Bible calls it) in Him. Far from being doctrinal abstracts, these truths are vitally practical to everything from cooking supper to signing business contracts to navigating life as a single woman, to settling an argument with your teenager or reflecting on your shared purpose in middle marriage with your husband.
All of life is a process of “becoming” what we believe. For every woman reading this, the process is never more sweet or more consequential to your own life and the lives of all who walk with you, than when you find yourself in midlife. You must “look to Jesus…” (Hebrews 12:2)
Not everyone sees it this way, in fact most do not, which means not everyone is seeing it clearly or correctly at all, which means you should not take the advice that is happily being sold to you….
….and like Forrest Gump, “That’s all I got ta’ say about that.”
I first began to speak about all things “middle” when I was 35 years old, at an international church conference in Florida. I’ll never forget an older Pakistani man, who had been suffering for the sake of the gospel, approaching me with tears in his eyes, saying in broken English, “I…in the middle…with you. Thank you.”
I first began writing about all things “becoming” when I was 45 years old - on my first “Blogspot” blog. The fruit has been nothing short of enormous. But I suddenly see I’m not done!
I’m going to be 55 this year. You can’t even call where I am right now “the middle”. In a mere 5 years, I will be heading into the 4th quarter of the average lifespan! One of my favorite things about the game of football is how, in the final quarter, when everyone is tired and sweaty and battered - the team leaders suddenly hold up four fingers on their gloved hand. They don’t say a word. They just hold up those four fingers.
Fourth quarter.
“This is it. Make or break. History will record.” One quarter left, and game over. Those players, gasping for air, unable to speak, sweat pouring. Some of them are bandaged up and yet they begged to be sent back out. Those are the very ones with four fingers raised high above their helmets as a wordless reminder that a fresh urgency, a sudden new resolve, must come upon them all.
Time is short, but opportunity is long. We can still win this thing.
Y’all. I am still becoming.
I have a fresh word, and fresh resolve. There’s still a lot in me.
My 2021 Mastermind
“Your testimonies also are my delight and my advisors…”
~Psalm 119:24
364 days of 2020 are now officially behind me. There’s no option but to face forward into a New Year. (…please, God, may 2020 never, ever be repeated…)
In every area of life, I need advisors.
In my business, I hit an important goal that I’d been keeping secret: after 3 successful art collections launched and 2 of those 3 sold out, between commissions and consistent online original art sales (even with no in-person shows!), I made more in 2020 with nothing but my paintbrush than I made in past years teaching online art classes. Not only that, but much of what I sold this year was with oils as the only medium! This was a quiet goal of mine, not shared with anyone, because it was a simple, personal benchmark.
I realize this was not necessary, per se. I realize it is also counterintuitive to the prevalent creative business mantra of “Diversify, diversify”. I actually narrowed - dramatically - my offerings to that of only what came out of my paintbrush.
But I determined not to write another online course until I could honestly say that my paintbrush and my favorite medium was the lifeblood of my business. {Not prints. Not courses. Not books. Not retreats. Not in person classes. Not stuff. Not affiliate gigs. Just fine art.}
Paintings.
And knowing that about myself - that I can make more in one collection (or even one painting!) than I can in one average online class, or from any other thing I do - is lovely. In a way I can’t explain, it is game changing.
That doesn’t have to be anyone else’s goal. My brain is quirky, and I felt such a need to establish legitimacy as a painter before anything else. And not just any painter - an oils painter.
Now, I can write more art courses from a clean, clear place in my soul. I’ve long since known I’m an artist. (So are you…) Finally, I can also know I’m a painter, who can create an income with nothing but a brush and some pigments.
Oh, how I need a good advisor! There’s a next step for me, and it is a big one!
In my spiritual life, I have a deep and settled knowledge that in 2021 I am going to encounter God in ways I never have before. There’s an intimacy that I’m standing on the cusp of, wide-eyed and yes, a little breathless.
The King is my friend.
And I am already aching to form language around what I see, and to paint from what I see, because nothing God does in me is just for me. He blesses me so that I can be a blessing. Oh, how I need an advisor. I want to say it all, and be faithful to properly teach supernatural realities in a manner that is passionate, responsible, enraptured, and tethered to sound doctrine.
My marriage is going places it never has before. We are growing deeper, truer, better, and it is not easy. I’ve heard it said, and this is true - we are only as healthy as we are willing to have uncomfortable conversations. The Preacher and I both want the same thing: a marriage that mirrors the delight that Living God has in Trinity community, and the delight He has in His bride.
We long to apply what we have learned about the finished work of Christ, and what we are learning about the practical impact of the doctrine of the Trinity, to our marriage. We can’t accomplish something that profound all by ourselves! We need advisors.
Introducing my “2021 Mastermind”: the same Mastermind who advised King David, King Solomon, the great apostle Paul, and many others. It’s elite, man.
Being part of this Mastermind is free, but it will also cost me everything I have.
This Mastermind is made up of the testimonies of God. (And a handful of humans, who are only as wise as they too have God’s testimonies as their advisors!)
Every single thing He has done in my life? Every story is an advisor to me of where He wants to increase me. Every single thing He has done in others lives? Each one, my advisor. (So please share what the Lord has done - do not deprive me of a necessary advisor!)
Every miracle inside the pages of Scripture? My advisor.
Every parable? My advisor.
Everything I know to be true about the Living God? Advisors, all.
Question: who are your advisors? Do you even have any? Who are their advisors? And does what they advise line up with the words, ways, being, and personality of a supernatural God? Do the boldest stories in Scripture stand as your readiest advisors? Are you looking to the Big Thinkers of the Bible?
The humans you turn to for counsel - are they creative doers? Do they live ordinary life beautifully and wisely, honestly and obediently?
I know (and know of) people who are, this year, paying $14,000 and $10,000 and $20,000 just to be on the inside of a Mastermind Group.
Who is your 2021 Mastermind?