My name is Sheila Atchley, and I am a mother of prodigals.

Much like I used to think I was above having a “midlife crisis” until I had one, I also thought I was above being in “toxic relationships” until I realized I’d been in some. And I had not been in them for a little while; I had been in them for a long time.

The most common thing I hear from women in the middle is this: “Why spend money and time making art?  What good does it do?  I only have so much room for canvases to pile up.  I am not selling what I make.”

Here is what I know: WE have to receive the grace of God. This is life or death. WE have to choose to live as close to God’s Original Design, as close to the garden of Eden as the cross has made possible: lives that are innocent, holy, and unashamed. No one outside of us can shame us - shame is an inside job. (I am not saying that others won’t try. I am saying we do not have to allow it.)

Shame has great power in a relationship. Because the one who can successfully shame - whether low-level shame, or dramatic, intense accusation - that person can wield power over us. The one who can hold up past mistakes or present shortcomings to our attention in such a way as to manipulate us to respond the way they want us to respond? That is power.

I hope and pray each of you had the best Christmas yet. But even if you did not, there is still one more gift of Christmas, and it is waiting there just for you: the gift of being able to hope in God. It is always darkest just before dawn. Those who have seen this fact with the eyes of their soul, know it is no cliche. It is rock-bottom truth: Beginning December 21st and forward, light starts to grow greater than darkness.

Welcome to my version of Winter Solstice Soul Care. I am such a light-lover.

I have heard one phrase again and again (and again) this year. I have heard these words said to me more this year than in any other year of my life:

“Thank you for saying ‘yes’.”