On "Becoming"
Almost 10 years ago, I wrote a lot about “becoming”…here is one example.
The image above is the art I made way back then, to reflect my thoughts on “becoming”. (I will never forget when this piece sold! Not only was it my first art in all soft pastel, not only did it sell, framed, for several hundred dollars - unheard of at the time, for me - but it sold to someone I had never met. A prophetic milestone! This piece lives somewhere in Connecticut. But that’s not the point.)
Blog post after blog post, a river of beautiful thoughts, poured out of me in that season. Thoughts about my own becoming, the “becoming” of my friends, the becoming of relationships in the middle, the “becoming” that is middle marriage - I wrote (and wrote…and wrote) about every bit of it.
Looking back, I can see that it was my own “becoming of age”. ::wink::
I had hit my stride, my theme, my sweet spot, and I am so glad I put it all out there, though I figured nobody was reading.
Those posts led to a relationship and eventual collaboration with my friend Jeanne Oliver, in her first free devotional offering called “Becoming - The Unfolding of You”. Just this week, I received an email from someone else who had “met” me through that very class. She had shyly waited all these years to reach out for the very first time, and tell me of the impact on her life that my words were. They had literally shaped HER “becoming”, over the last near-decade.
Well. So, here I am. Here we are.
Time has flown by, it is ten years later, and I am discovering that I have yet more to say about Becoming. More truths. Truths that have been fragranced, soaked, and seasoned by the last ten years of living into a life’s theme. Thoughts I’ve never written before, new and urgent.
In the intervening years between my first barely-read blog post, many other women have chimed in on the theme.
So. much. is. being. said.
Not all of it is Biblical. Which is to say, “not all of it lines up with who God actually is, not all of it lines up with the way we are actually made.” Which is to say that to use a wrong map is to arrive at the wrong destination. To use a partly-accurate map is to encounter a LOT of unnecessary hassle. (The middle isn’t the time to make up your own map. We don’t get to dictate our design, because we do not design ourselves. The middle is the time to return to original design - the time to become who we really are. )
Which is to say we must discover who Jesus is, who He has been since before time began, and who He continues to be for the rest of eternity- living as the God-man. By an act of God’s will He is forever and flawlessly tethered to a human body, as our representative in the very Presence of a thriving Trinity relationship.
He gives us Himself, as our design. Himself, as our gift. His relationship with the Triune God can be ours as well. We have been placed (“hidden”, the Bible calls it) in Him. Far from being doctrinal abstracts, these truths are vitally practical to everything from cooking supper to signing business contracts to navigating life as a single woman, to settling an argument with your teenager or reflecting on your shared purpose in middle marriage with your husband.
All of life is a process of “becoming” what we believe. For every woman reading this, the process is never more sweet or more consequential to your own life and the lives of all who walk with you, than when you find yourself in midlife. You must “look to Jesus…” (Hebrews 12:2)
Not everyone sees it this way, in fact most do not, which means not everyone is seeing it clearly or correctly at all, which means you should not take the advice that is happily being sold to you….
….and like Forrest Gump, “That’s all I got ta’ say about that.”
I first began to speak about all things “middle” when I was 35 years old, at an international church conference in Florida. I’ll never forget an older Pakistani man, who had been suffering for the sake of the gospel, approaching me with tears in his eyes, saying in broken English, “I…in the middle…with you. Thank you.”
I first began writing about all things “becoming” when I was 45 years old - on my first “Blogspot” blog. The fruit has been nothing short of enormous. But I suddenly see I’m not done!
I’m going to be 55 this year. You can’t even call where I am right now “the middle”. In a mere 5 years, I will be heading into the 4th quarter of the average lifespan! One of my favorite things about the game of football is how, in the final quarter, when everyone is tired and sweaty and battered - the team leaders suddenly hold up four fingers on their gloved hand. They don’t say a word. They just hold up those four fingers.
Fourth quarter.
“This is it. Make or break. History will record.” One quarter left, and game over. Those players, gasping for air, unable to speak, sweat pouring. Some of them are bandaged up and yet they begged to be sent back out. Those are the very ones with four fingers raised high above their helmets as a wordless reminder that a fresh urgency, a sudden new resolve, must come upon them all.
Time is short, but opportunity is long. We can still win this thing.
Y’all. I am still becoming.
I have a fresh word, and fresh resolve. There’s still a lot in me.
Beauty Defies Despair
Is it still 2021?
Is it just me, or has it already been a long year?
Here’s a word of encouragement. I hope it will bless and strengthen you: Chaos is God’s canvas. He does His best work when everything is “without form, and void”, when everything is chaos. I firmly believe the Holy Spirit’s answer to chaos is that we create something beautiful.
I set my heart to get back into the studio this week. I set my mind to be an imitator of God. I set my hands to a good work, and got to work.
There were a lot of journaling pages, because that is how I warm up. All my best mistakes are made inside the pages of my art journals.
But at some point, the cup overflows, and I have to pick up a substrate and make.
These were the 3 pieces that came out of the making. All three sold. Not that selling is an indicator of worth or value - not at all. My point is, what if I had allowed the overwhelm (with political upheaval) to keep me out of the studio? It would have been so easy to use my usual means of escape - it would have been so easy to dive into hours and hours of Bible study.
Yes. Bible study is my escape, because enneagram 5. Studying my Bible is beautiful and important, but I can’t tell you how many times I do that when I should be in the studio slinging paint - I know this for a fact, deep inside. I draw such deep comfort from studying Scripture. But at some point, all that study must become faith.
Faith without accompanying action is worthless, being alone. The accompanying action does not have to be volunteering at a soup kitchen. It does not have to be the act of giving my body to be burned. It does not have to be leaving for Africa on a missions trip. All those things are good - well, not the burning body stuff, I hope you understand what I am getting at.
What action do you need to take in the area of your calling? That is the action that, for you, is an act of faith! What might that be, for you? What sort of making are you called to? I think making is one of the deepest acts of faith we can do, whether that be making art or making dinner or making love with your spouse or making things right in the world.
I’m glad I got “in there” and got my hands dirty. And do you know what else? All those hours of Bible study come out in every piece of art that I do. It all somehow ties together, because I was made for all of it.
Ever since the December 2020 calendar page dropped dramatically into the trash can, ever since January 2021 arrived, there has been one song I have sung over and over again. Almost every time I hear it, I fight back the tears. I want to share it with you, because I still believe that “Beauty Defies Despair”: