A Well Considered Middle, Leadership, Stories Sheila Atchley A Well Considered Middle, Leadership, Stories Sheila Atchley

Public Service Announcement {interrupting my "motherhood stories" for this PSA}

Increasingly, I see the need to get one thing straight:

There’s moxie…and there’s harpy.

There’s sass…and there’s sorcery. Jezebel.

“Say I Won’t”

Say I Won’t

But. But how do you know the difference?

Well, it is easy.

Moxie is based on something God has said to me. Harpy is based on something I say. Sass is based on being in the right. Sorcery is based on wanting to be seen as being right. Sass is strength in doing what is right. Sorcery is strength in having or getting it my way. Never confuse rebellion for sass. They aren’t the same. One is to be repented of quickly, the other is a prerequisite to leadership.

Here’s something I taught recently that might help you keep these things properly sorted:

Look inside the Scriptures. Plant your feet in them, put your face in them, soak your heart in them, wash your hands in them, cleanse your soul in them, light your way in them. Reckon everything in your life according to the Gospel.

Well I reckon…”

That’s sass.

The other stuff? The self-help stuff? The “prop me up” self talk? The shenanigans and badassery? Nah.

The pseudo Christian female leader thing is bigbigbig right now. I am all for girl power, do not mishear what I am saying. I’m my daddy’s daughter - I carry his legacy on the inside of me.

(versus only saying that I do, or pretending that I do…dude…I actually love most what. the. man. loved. most…the word of God.)

So I try to live in a state of perpetual moxie. If you wonder what that might look like, well, here you go:

…daddy…

…daddy…

…daughter…

…daughter…

Actual moxie? Actual sass? It’s only done “by the book”. Literally, it is only done by having a sure word from the Lord.

Moxie is not me getting all badass about my own opinion.

Now…like the great apostle once said, I am not in charge of your faith, but I do hope to be a helper of your joy. And since I seek to be a helper of your joy, I want to share with you a song the Lord sang over me yesterday.

Yes. He did.

As I said goodbye to my pastor husband - who was preaching at another church in Talbot, TN - I went inside to finish praying over my own message I would be sharing to our home church. And just like any lover, the Lord waited to get me alone, and immediately said, “Go listen. I want to sing over you.” This has happened to me about three times before, and believe me, when the Lord says it, I tune in. Because it has always been life altering. Destiny shaking.

So, I heard my phone in the back of the house, where I had the usual Sunday Morning Pandora Channel playing. One song was ending and by the time I got to the room the next one was beginning. And I had never heard it before in my whole life. (I am not an early adopter…)

If you will allow me, I will just say it ahead of time…

You’re Welcome.

Literally, it has been on repeat all day yesterday and all day today, since. I can’t get over it.

Jesus, Lover of my soul.

Hearing His voice like that? It imparts serious moxie.

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Sheila Atchley Sheila Atchley

The Relationship Between Shame and Bitterness {...what kind of power do you want to have?}

Here is what I know: WE have to receive the grace of God. This is life or death. WE have to choose to live as close to God’s Original Design, as close to the garden of Eden as the cross has made possible: lives that are innocent, holy, and unashamed. No one outside of us can shame us - shame is an inside job. (I am not saying that others won’t try. I am saying we do not have to allow it.)

Shame has great power in a relationship. Because the one who can successfully shame - whether low-level shame, or dramatic, intense accusation - that person can wield power over us. The one who can hold up past mistakes or present shortcomings to our attention in such a way as to manipulate us to respond the way they want us to respond? That is power.

“I Will Lead Unashamed”

“I Will Lead Unashamed”

Here is what I know: WE have to receive the grace of God. This is life or death. WE have to choose to live as close to God’s Original Design, as close to the garden of Eden as the cross has made possible: lives that are innocent, holy, and unashamed. No one outside of us can shame us - shame is an inside job. (I am not saying that others won’t try. I am saying we do not have to allow it.)

Shame has great power in a relationship. Because the one who can successfully shame - whether low-level shame, or dramatic, intense accusation - that person can wield power over us. The one who can hold up past mistakes or present shortcomings to our attention in such a way as to manipulate us to respond the way they want us to respond? That is power.

But that kind of power is a poor substitute for love. If I shame you, covertly or overtly, into doing or being what it is I want from you, that is a poor substitute for love. God’s way is that we love one another unconditionally.

Not for that we have dominion over your faith, but are helpers of your joy: for by faith ye stand.” 2 Cor. 1:24

Even the great apostle Paul, with all his God-given authority, chose to know nothing, to wield no other power, but Christ and Him crucified. He chose to wield no power but what would help the joy of those he served.

Quite obviously, helping the joy of others meant he sometimes spoke hard truth to them. That is a far different thing from emotional manipulation.

We must release all desire for power over others.

This is going to help someone. Someone needs to be able to evaluate the impact of the power you give to another (perhaps that person has never tried to shame you - you simply react to them from a shame that is within you, and consequently you are bitter towards them), and/or the power you seek to assert over another.

We become so controlled by shame, when we allow it access. Shame will always become bitterness. Stop allowing shame to control you (remember: no one else can shame you - not ultimately) and you will protect your soul from disfiguring bitterness.

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