Rocky Mountain High

The Preacher and I just returned from a trip to Colorado.

We attended a minister’s conference hosted by Andrew Wommack and Charis Bible College. This year (2023) was our first year to go to the minister’s conference, which celebrated its 40th consecutive year while we were there! The teaching was rich, and the connections felt solid and substantial.

One of ARMI’s regional leaders (Association of Related Ministers International) who is also a dear friend, told us that the conference had more than doubled in size since just last year. So we felt a bit like fish out of water.

We sat in a room with about 2,000 people. We are not accustomed to that.

Therefore, since we are now part of ARMI: we adapted.

The second thing we weren’t accustomed to, was a minister’s conference that went Monday through Friday.

Therefore: we adapted.

The third thing we were not accustomed to, was incredible facilities. Jaw dropping facilities. Built with zero debt.

There’s a soothing, gorgeous, at least two stories tall waterfall inside the building. There’s a great little coffee shop and bookstore. Every single person there was happy to serve.

Upstairs, in the mezzanine, there had to be at least 50 leather couches, in more than a dozen well appointed conversational groupings, with a view directly looking at Pike’s Peak.

The dining area was like a very large, very fine restaurant, complete with large round tables, tablecloths, plush padded seats, and an enormous stacked stone fireplace. It was all absolutely stunning. And with one goal: to facilitate deep connections. We happily adapted.

Here’s where we did not need to adapt: we know the presence of God, when He broods over a gathering. We felt right at home. We don’t know any other way, except to be authentic, and therefore we make deep and authentic friendships. The favor of God rests upon us, and meeting people comes easy for us. We felt well within our element, in that respect.

And we two are still in love, and we know how to spend time together. If a conference structure doesn’t allow enough time for that, well, we know what must take precedent: our romance. We know exactly how to be Bohemians, and keep important principles but break picky rules, and therefore leaving some sessions early to go roam Woodland Park came really, really easy to us.

(…we laughed so hard at this one…)

We found out that we are highly adaptable, can function under less-than-optimal conditions (our VRBO was absolute garbage - with a busted double bed, in a musty shed that they advertised as a “cozy cabin”. Buyer beware), that we are blessed and incredibly favored, and that altitude is a thing.

But we thrashed it. We hiked, frolicked, friended, explored, prayed, laughed, cried, sang, and basically wore ourselves out, acting half our age.

Until next year, Colorado. Until next year.

With deep gratitude for all the great lifelong friendships that have led up to this season of our lives, with excitement for what now is, and all the incredible new connections we are making, and with great hope for the future.

Because the next Great Awakening will be stewarded into the earth through Great Relationships.

Thanks, Andrew Wommack, for your incredible vision. Thank you Greg and Janice Mohr, Mark and Jennifer Machen, Jeremiah and Stacey Johnson, Brad and Celina Holliman, Randall Barrington, Rob and Glenda Rufus, Charis Bible College, and all who we’ve met and fallen in love with since 2018. We stand ready to serve. My goodness, we are thankful.

And it’s so so good to be home. I can’t wait to get in the studio to paint some scenes I sketched in Colorado.

How To Love Your Narcissist And Still Protect Yourself and Your Family

I hate to use the term “gaslight”, because my enneagram 4 wing has a really big butt and she takes up a lot of room inside my personality. We don’t like to use terms everyone else is using.

Nevertheless.

I think this will help more than one person.

You may be shocked at who you discover is willing to gaslight you - who it is that will try to tell you that your experience of them was not your experience of them. That you can’t be right, accurate, or correct in your perception. They truly will try to convince you that you didn’t see what you saw, didn’t experience what you experienced, didn’t hear what you heard.

I can promise you that there’s at least three people who’ve gone before you, who were put through the same routine: “love bomb, draw close, siphon energy, push away, mistreat, then gaslight”. It’s a dangerous pattern, and the damage is real.

When this happens to you, DO NOT RUN. If you run, they will catch on, and likely try to make you pay! When this happens to you, when the gaslighters gaslight….smile and wave. Just smile and wave.

If you say anything at all, simply say “Mmmmkay, thanks.”

Back away slowly. Smile the whole time. Tell them how wonderful they are - because they are probably a narcissist anyway. You see, even though they are gaslighting the crap out of you, you are still the one with all the power.

Because you can still find things to genuinely love about them, in spite of their behavior. But love does not have to equal access or proximity. Especially not when the well being of others you lead is also at stake - such as your children, if you are a parent, or your church if you are a pastor, or your team if you are a business owner. You can find ways to pray for them, and to care for them from a distance that keeps you and the people you lead safe.

Just put ‘er in reverse, sis. Back away slowly as you wave, smile, and keeeeeeeeeeeeep on backing away, until there’s miles between you. Then back away some more. Give them space to move onto the next person.

Oh, they will. They so will. They always do.

Because they are always looking for someone fresh and new and interesting enough to them, to siphon off some of the next woman’s spiritual insight, or creative energy, or joy. They are always looking for the next person to treat her as the screen upon which they get to project their version of themselves. Only to swear that they didn’t do ANY of those things, AT ALL.

Bless.

Trust me, they won’t go without willing victims. Like attracts like - and that is why you never really mixed as well with them at first as you wanted to. But the next person might be the perfect match. They will be thrilled to have each other. For a time. Always, for a time.

In other words, do not worry that your narcissist or gaslighter will miss you. They won’t.

But again: You have all the power. Because you know what’s up. You know what’s going on, and you are making conscious choices, for the benefit of the greater good, and with conscious love.