Midlife As "The Valley Between"
“Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision! For the day of the LORD is near in the valley of decision.”
Theologically, this Joel 3 passage speaks of the judgement of God. Here are the words of Barnes’ commentary on these verses:
“For the Day of the Lord is near in the valley of decision - Their gathering against God shall be a token of His coming to judge them. They come to fulfill their own ends; but His shall be fulfilled on them. They are left to bring about their own doom…”
So I might be contemplating, here, the deep similarity between midlife and the Joel 3: 14 conundrum…
Today, I heard a lecture by social scientist and NYT bestselling author Arthur Brooks. It was pointed out that our satisfaction - or lack thereof - with our relationships at age 50 is a singularly clear and concise predetermining factor of our quality of life at age 80.
Let’s look again at the commentary on Joel 3:14 - “Their gathering against God is (actually) a token of His coming to judge them…” (parenthesis mine)
IOW, their perspective - which in this valley place could not be reverse engineered - portended their own actual destiny. These in the valley thought that their dissatisfaction, by the sheer numbers of them that were “in agreement”, meant that they must be right. But from God’s vantage point, those who gathered in that valley of decision for the wrong reasons were foretelling their own doom.
In the light of Joel 3 and the results of Dr. Brooks’ research on quality of life IN midlife and into old age…
…some of us better be availing ourselves of the Mighty Gift of Repentance. (To repent simply means to “choose to think completely differently.”)
We absolutely cannot reverse engineer the sense of satisfaction we have/had in our relationships at any age, but particularly not at age 50-55. It was what it was, or it is what it is. We cannot pretend it away…not with God. Here is where repentance is as big a refreshing to our spirit as adding a new deck to the back of our home was to our outdoor “long table family-and-friends dinners”. (That deck was game changing. A joy-maker. It increased our ability to practice hospitality in every way. Our outdoor life is FUN, now. But it was hard, hard work…because we did it all ourselves. By choice. From tear-down, to re-build. What a metaphor is there, on the process of repentance, and the joy it brings when we get through it!)
Repentance is a gift.
We can choose to repent of our own dissatisfaction with our friends, church, spouse, or job. We can choose another perspective, and decide to (dare I say it?) love what is ours.
an image of a (sold) original depicting feminine youth and midlife - and the mentoring relationship
In natural terms, your happiness when you are old depends on doing (or having done) the right thing in the midlife “valley of decision” .
MY message is this: If you didn’t get it right, you still have time to fix it. But it will be hard work, it will take time, a few letters or phone calls, or face-to-face over coffee. It may take the act of circling way back, and sincerely apologizing.
None of those actions earn God’s favor. Of course not. What they do earn, however, is some all-important emotional resiliency, flexibility, and joy.
By choosing to “return to first love”, by activating the SHEER MIRACULOUS GIFT of being able to go back in time (through repentance) and “fix it” where you failed to love, means you get to flex and strengthen the very emotional muscles that you must have to thrive in your elder years.
(an image from a sketch tutorial found in my online class “The Women of Advent”)
Wherever I am unhappy now, foretells my quality of life in twenty years. However I find myself in my “valley of decision” will be the position God lets me keep - unless I change my mind. Unless I tear down and rebuild.
Wherever I am not loving what is mine to love right now, in the middle, in the valley of decision, is predicting the very areas where, in my old age, I will have either “real relationships” or “deal relationships” (based on “you do this for me, I do that for you”).
Your original design is to “go from strength TO strength” (which is also the title of Harvard lecturer and author Dr. Arthur Brooks’ new book). But to have that kind of lifestyle all the way into old age depends on the mysterious paradox of sovereign grace meeting your own initiative to do the work. Do the work of change.
May the Holy Spirit bring this home to every heart. Mine, above all.
My Own Way of "Chasing Slow" {...the sweetness of church life...}
If you haven’t been to Harvest Church in 3 or 4 years…you haven’t been to Harvest church.
Oh, for real. It’s not the same place. Not outside. Not inside. Not in its atmosphere, or its people. God has been gathering those who resonate with the New Covenant Gospel from the east, west, north, and south…from England and Sweden, from Washington State (no, really…they moved here…to go to church here), from New Mexico and from across our “Maker’s City” of Knoxville.
Pandemic be damned. (I promise, that is not gratuitous swearing. I really mean it.)
We are growing so beautifully…because our goal is not “growth”. Our goal, as stated by The Preacher (my husband) is health. I can’t get over what the Holy Spirit is doing in our midst.
…one of our good friends, and literally one of our neighbors. His name is Derek, and he serves relentlessly, with such a presence of God on him! If you come through our front doors, you will be greeted - in the deepest voice you’ve ever heard - by this dear one.
But tonight, I simply want to share what church life means to me, on a very personal level.
As an artist, I can't make art that resonates with others, if I don't resonate within my own self. In other words, if I don't “live the life of an artist”, my creativity becomes knock-off, wooden, safe, and the same as it has always been.
For me, every time I go up the steps of #harvestchurchknoxville, I know I am actually slowing down to live an authentic life, instead of just talking about "chasing slow". I know I will encounter Jesus through real people in real time. There is no substitute for authenticity. I can't slow down, make time, give and receive, and soak in Presence second-hand. I have to physically show up.
You could say that because I'm the preacher's wife, I "have" to show up.
If you think that for one minute...well...you don't know me, do you? I've been a lover of Christ's “body” and “bride” (two Biblical metaphors for “church”) for as long as I can remember - and the depth and grit and soul and joy and heartbreak that comes with forging relationships with people in ONE local church - the same church, for almost 30 years, has made me who I am today.
I wouldn't trade it for any other lifestyle. God's my witness on that one. It is the most creative, flourishing life. Why? Because God promised if we stick and stay, that is the inevitable result.
“Planted in the house of the LORD, they will flourish in the courts of our God. In old age they will still bear fruit; healthy and green they will remain,…”
There are many people on Instagram who follow me for my #SundayOOTD , “Sunday Selfie Posts” alone :)))
I owe much to this one, grounding, deepening, soul-stirring discipline: physically gathering my flawed self with flawed friends on a Sunday. God somehow turns water to wine, every dang time.
You could say that what I do today is an investment into my own development as an artist. But of course, it is so much more. You could say that being a die-hard celebrant has kept me flourishing well into my older years.
You'd be right. Nothing pleases God and hones your gifts like The Gathering.